Kitchen Mixer

Blueberry Smoothie – You Suck at Cooking (episode 23)

Blueberry Smoothie - You Suck at Cooking (episode 23)

INTRO MUSIC  Hey guys, a bit of a sad episode today I found out recently that my sister, um, wants her Vitamix back. And that's fine, it's just a blender, but, you know, you grow up with someone; you think you know them; and then you find out how truly selfish they are. And that, that does stingso kind of just dealing with that right now. But you just got to remember that if someone needs to collect appliances to fill a void in their lifethat you just have to be happy that, uh…

That you know wholeness comes from a different place. Anyway, I don't want to harp on that. What I do want to do is, um, just take a quick look back on all the amazing things Ive been able to make and do with this truly, truly versatile machine.  [GUITAR MUSIC]  It's a top-notch wangjangler.

Can skin a banana in no time flat. The Vitamix honestly cooks eggs like nobodys business. It's really great at opening peanuts. Gets wrinkles out of any shirt.

Keeps your floors looking brand-spankin' new. Its a total grime-buster. It's a master of disguise Teaches you everything about how to raise a baby. Does basic washing machine maintenance.

[DISCORDANT PIANO SOUNDS]  Its like a Picasso on the piano.  [GUITAR MUSIC RESUMES]  It knows its limit, and it stays within it. [Whispering] It watches for burglars. Really easy to tune up your bike.

Gets along really good with corks. It's terrified of pillows. Keeps your yard super clean. Easy to groom your dog.

It's an absolute wizard at dividing up your, uh… Baking soda? Alright Vitamix, lets end this on a good note by making my favorite smoothie. Almond milk, blueberries, banana, Greek yogurt, peanut butter. Put it up on the base; get that lid on; and take your vitamix and press start.

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We'll just taste test that. Needs a few more blueberries. Let's give that a taste… [Slurping sound] Mmm.

That will do it. And the great thing about the vitamix is that, if you make a lot like this, It's really just a big cup so you can drink right out of that, which I'm going to do right now before I go lift. [Long slurping sound] Mmm!  [SAD PIANO MUSIC]  Well Vitamix, we've been through a lot together and, uh, You've never disappointed me once and I look forward to visiting you sometimes I really hope that you'll remember me Hopefully, we'll still be able to have some good times. You're a real ******* champion.

Thank you.  [GUITAR MUSIC]   Gonna miss you Vitamix,   and all your versatile tricks.   You really caught my nervous ticks   and in my shins you never kicked.   Built strong like a ton of bricks.

 Gentle touch of a candle wick.   You spin hard like a lunatic   with just one click!   You're a blender   [LOUD EXHALE].

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